Feeling overwhelmed.

So today was a day of trying to get stuff done and feeling overwhelmed. Now, all I wanted/needed to get done today was digging out the trailer and the front porch and burning cardboard. Simple enough, right?

Except that there is about a 6 foot snowpile in front of the trailer. (No complaints, because it was from 2 people being nice enough to clear my driveway for me and I am VERY grateful for that!) I need to clear about a 5 foot wide space is all. And I got a good start on it, I did. I just feel like I should have gotten more done. (It's around 6 feet tall and maybe...5 feet deep? I'm not even sure.) I got about 3 feet by 2 feet cleared. Then I thought I would attack the front porch for a bit. Surely that will be easier and thus give me a sense of satisfaction, right? Well, you can now walk up 2 of the 3 steps (bottom one is still buried) and to the door. Can't open the door. Oh, and you can't get from the driveway to the steps yet because of the snow. You can, but it's a pain. And I really want at least to be able to get the door open and get the piano out the front door. And some of the wider furniture (couch, chairs, etc.).

Soooo.....while my son and I did get the burning I wanted to get done done, and I did get some snow clearing done, I just felt very inadequate to the task of moving without help. I do have a friend who graciously offered to help me move when she is up here for a few days and I may take her up on that. We'll see.

My biggest concern is getting stuff out of the house. With all the snow drifts, it's going to be really difficult to not use the front door. If I can somehow manage a UHaul, I can back up close enough that the ramp would extend to the front porch and that would make things much, much easier. And with the time closing in (19 days now to closing), it may be I need to load it all up over 1 weekend and move it. Scary!!

I'm also trying not to leave any bills behind, but I'm so far behind on water it's not even funny. The electric will be covered by LIEAP once they get my application processed. Again, pah on me for waiting to turn it in. I figured I'd have been moved way before this. But, will the electric company let me switch if it hasn't been paid yet? I dunno. I'll find out, I guess.

So now I'm trying to focus on what I DID get accomplished:

1. I got a good chunk of snowpile moved.

2. Son and I got all the burning of cardboard done.

3. I got a good start on the front porch.

4. I got towels washed.

5. I've looked at options for renting a truck.

That snowpile is a lot for 1-2 people to move with snowshovels. We'll keep pegging away at it this week, though. The forecast is for mid-20s to 30s so we can peg away a little at a time. The front porch still has 2 feet of snow on it in some areas, so the same thing there. I won't push myself because if I hurt myself...well, then I'm really screwed. :-)

The next challenge is, believe it or not, finding a place yet! The landlady's last chance is tomorrow to either give me 5 minutes of her time to give me what I need to know (availability date, deposit, rent, etc.), give me that info on the duplex that is/was open, or to watch me start calling others. I like this house, it's cute on the outside. The location is perfect. But. I have 19 days. **19 days** THAT is scaring the bejeebers out of me.

And then, as always, the finance side of it. That's just going to have to work itself out somehow. I will have around $1000 after the sale of the house, but I need it before then, in actuality. So we'll have to see what happens there. More phone calls.

I know it will all work out. Today I let the situation get the upper hand and I let it get to me. BUT it has not knocked me down. Until I am sleeping in the minivan, I am doing just fine. And my boss won't let that happen. She's already offered the 2 rooms upstairs if necessary. I will just hope it doesn't become necessary. :-)

2010 - The Year The Good Comes Back Again

Wow, it is so hard to believe I haven't posted in 2 months. While I never make resolutions, I do hope I can fix that a bit and post more often.

2009 was a rough year. Not only for me, but for the entire world it seems like. But it ended with some positive changes. My house sold and I only had to come down 6% from the listing price. We close January 29 and so I have a lot of work to do this month. I have been talking to a landlady and hopefully can get moved into a house or a duplex she has available soon. She is okay with the critters which is a bonus. The hard part is coming up with the money for deposit etc etc but we'll see how things go.

I am still working for the ALA and really enjoying it. I do need to find something else as part-time just doesn't cut it. But I will find something else part-time for now because I really enjoy working for her and I am nowhere near ready to give that up! I do still do some transcription from time to time and am hoping to build that up considerably this year.

No word on the car incident so we're going with "no news is good news." Hopefully he was able to bring his grades up to passing so he can graduate on time. He's been really good these past few months as far as limited attitude and stepping up to the plate around the house.

As for me, it's been interesting. I learned a lot about myself this past year and went through a lot more than I thought I could and still come out smiling. That is not to say I'm not still struggling with my emotions and mental well-being. But I am struggling less, if that makes sense? I've developed more of a "let it ride" attitude and I am definitely fretting less. I made some new friends and found I can survive finding out one of those new friends can go from being the best thing to happen to me to being an absolute (censored). I guess I never will understand how people can do that. The hard part is that this person is really intertwined with another friend I made and so I am struggling mightily to separate the two. Ultimately, I'm not sure I'll be able to, but time will tell. It always does. *smile*

Things I learned in 2009:

**Cooking over a campfire.
**Catfish fishing.

**Using a spinning reel vs a casting reel.
**How to clean a fish.

**How to knit.

**That I can really make Christmas gifts for 7 people and birthday gifts for 2 and spend less than $20 all told busing what I have in my craft stash.

**That the holidays are about family and no one cared that I didn't have gifts for all the little ones.

**That it really is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

**That it is perfectly okay to have a good cry when you need to. Not only that, but it is normal.

**That I am awesome and I am full of win.

**That I am passionate.

Things I will work on in 2010:

**More knitting, gaining more skills.

**Learning to tat.

**Work on that learning Norwegian!

**More downtime, away from phones and computers.

**Working on myself, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

**Try to see the extended family more often.

**Continue to declutter my life. Not only material items, but people and other negativity.

Things already in motion that put 2010 off to a good start:

**I'm moving to a new home.

**I have a wonderful job I enjoy.

**I have made new friends who are a positive influence.

**I have long-term friends who tell it like it is and then let me cry when I realize they're right.

**I'm going skydiving for my birthday!!

I'm going to close this with an email I got awhile back:

Recently I overheard a Father and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure.

Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the Father said, 'I love you, and I wish you enough.'

The daughter replied, 'Dad, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Dad.'

They kissed and the daughter left. The Father walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, 'Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?'

'Yes, I have,' I replied. 'Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?'.

'I am old, and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral,' he said.

'When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?'

He began to smile. 'That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone..' He paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and he smiled even more. 'When we said, 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.' Then turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good- bye.

He then began to cry and walked away.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them; but then an entire life to forget them.

To all my friends and loved ones...I wish you enough.

Happy Halloween!

Saturday, October 31, 2009

I know, I have been VERY MIA lately.

The divorce was finalized on October 13th. I am officially "ME" again. That last name will never ever ever change again! But I still haven't changed my drivers license or social security card yet. I better get on that. :-)

My son has gotten into a bit more trouble. He was in the back seat of a car that ended up being stolen. The driver also managed to land it on its side in a ditch. Thankfully, the 3 kids were okay. But the driver is trying to blame my son, saying he was driving (thankfully he's scared of driving!!). But he and the other passenger are sticking to their statements that she was driving. So that might end up being a court issue in that he might have to go testify against her. (She's saying it because she's already up on drug possession charges and she doesn't want to get into more trouble. Duh..then why take off in a car that is not yours that you do not have permission to be driving??) Ah well. We'll cross those bridges when we get to them.

I am working part-time for the American Legion Auxiliary. It's clerical work and I really enjoy it. I am still considered a temp as the Executive Committee has to approve of me. If I can pull off saving $500 on printing costs, I'm pretty sure I will get approved. Keep your fingers crossed! I'm also trying to pick up more transcription work because paying the bills = good thing.

I am almost to my first weight loss goal. And my second one is 240 by May...because I am going skydiving!! And you have to be under 250. I can do it!!! I can!!!! I'm going to start the couch to 5K program this week. I even made my own first "mix" with their cues...Honky Tonk Badonky Donk...to some Alabama...then P!nk, Bon Jovi and ending with Christina Aguilera. Why yes, i do have an interesting range of music, why do you ask? Do I want to actually run a 5K? No. But maybe someday.

We're still looking for a place to rent in town. Hopefully soon as I really don't want to move my piano and stuff in the snow. hehe The house is officially on the market. Here's hoping for a reasonably fast sale!! I ended up giving the car away on Freecycle, and it sounds like they will enjoy tinkering with it! Now, to find a rental that will let me keep the critters. If I have to give them up, I will, though.

November will be a challenging month. Not only am I going to hit the transcription application trail hot and heavy, plus working at the ALA, plus the C25K program AND more packing/sorting/moving...it's NaNoWriMo month!! I am writing what will either be a historical fiction or a fantasy, depending on how it wants to be written. It will also help me deal with some personal issues, I think. A month long journaling session!!

To all of you, my friends...thank you for being a part of my life. Each of you has made a huge difference in who I am today and for that I will be eternally grateful. *hugs* to you all.

Yay! Looks like it worked!! It's the top story, so you don't have to watch the entire newscast, just the little blurb about going mobile. :-) Then it takes a few seconds to actually play.

Stole this from someone who stole it from someone who probably stole it from someone....

I stole this from someone else. Hilarious!

---

-I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can
think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell
my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves
me.

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you’re wrong.

-I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t need to drink to
have fun.” Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they’ve invented the lighter?

-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re
going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to
be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the
direction from which you came, you have to first do something like
check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to
yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re
crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

-That’s enough, Nickelback.

-I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know”
feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose
not to be friends with?

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t
work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically
fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all
know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards
or FAQ’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.

-There is a great need for sarcasm font.

-Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first
saw it.

-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually
becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting
90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s
laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little
bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the
only one who really, really gets it.

-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

• I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to
finish a text.

• A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

• LOL has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.

• I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

• Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

• Whenever someone says ”I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is ”I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.

• How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?

• I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

• Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’ examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as in…(10 second lapse)..ummm…Goonies”

-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

• While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.

• MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

• Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

• I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.

• I would like to officially coin the phrase ‘catching the swine flu’ to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: “Dave caught the swine flu last night.”

-I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

• Bad decisions make good stories

-Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their
profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got
the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if
I do!

• Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring
would probably just be completely invisible.

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be
a problem….

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t
want to have to restart my collection.

-There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I
swear I did not make any changes to.

• “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people
watching TV. There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will
they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t
watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and
leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?’

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone
and run away?

• I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

-When I meet a new girl, I’m terrified of mentioning something she
hasn’t already told me but that I have learned from some light
internet stalking.

-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle,
then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising
speed for pedophiles…

• As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

-Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still
not know what time it is.

-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

-I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it.

-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the
Donkey - but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze
button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time
every time…

-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day “Dad what would
happen if you ran over a ninja?” How the hell do I respond to that?

-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and
the link takes me to a video instead of text.

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they
drive behind obeys the speed limit.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw
they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words,
someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think
about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people
eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by
myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard
before dinner.

Things I refuse to apologize for...

A thread was started at Ravelry...and here is my contribution....

I refuse to apologize for divorcing you. And yes, to the person whose name I can't remember, it is possible to marry someone and not know them. I had no clue he was a gambling addict and that he has a huge propensity for lying. I knew he was a recovering alcoholic. I did not know that for the entire 3 years we lived here (we moved here 7 months after we got married) he was drinking and smoking pot. I had suspicions, but I can't tell the difference by scent between alcoholic beer and non-alcoholic beer, sorry.

I refuse to apologize or feel the slightest bit guilty that you still cannot find a job after almost 2 months. You had one here. You didn't have to move out of the house immediately, you had the 60-day waiting period to do so. You chose to let your sister run your life and move you in with her, her family and your mother.

I refuse to apologize for having Metallica, P!nk, Alabama, Rascall Flatts, Bon Jovi and Miranda Lambert on my Shuffle. Guess what? This is my feel good music and it makes me feel good to listen to it! I also refuse to apologize for dancing to the above-mentioned music while housecleaning....because guess what? I feel good! I refuse to apologize for being a cocky-ass bitch. It's who I was in high school, it's who I am when I am not under the thumb of someone. Granted, right now I'm the most insecure cocky-ass bitch I know, but dammit, I am back and I am happy. It took me 15 years to get to this point and you can like it or lump it.

I refuse to apologize for again being a single mom. I did fine for 13 years. I got married and my life went to Hades in a handbasket. I'm separated-soon-to-be-divorced and will do just fine again.

I refuse to apologize for never again changing my last name and probably never getting married again. I will live in sin if that's how you want to look at it, but I will never allow myself to be legally bound to someone again.

I refuse to endorse college as the way to go. I have an AAS and a certificate. I'm still paying on the AAS after having graduated 13 years ago. And I'm not using it. If you want to go to college fine. If you don't, that's fine too. If you know what you want to do and it makes you happy, then do it.

I refuse to apologize for having 3 cats and 1 dog. I know I'm financially strapped. But the side effects of these guys far outweigh the side effects of the antidepressants I wouldn't take anyway. My financial situation is temporary.

I refuse to apologize for having fun. My son is old enough to spend a night or 2 at home alone if I want to go camping with friends. I have a cell phone, he can reach me in an emergency. We have good neighbors that will help out. He will be fine.

And family, I refuse to apologize for not having friends that are up to your par. They like to drink, they like to smoke the wacky tobaccy, they like to have fun. I don't drink, I don't smoke even cigarettes, let alone anything else, and they make me happy. I have fun with them. You make me feel uncomfortable and inferior.....and I'm not.

Warm Walk

Well, this morning was definitely a bit warmer for walking. As much as I hate wearing shorts and tank tops in public, I may start doing so on my morning walks. Capris and t-shirt were just too warm this morning. lol I got stood up by my walking partner but still walked 2 miles. They'll hear about it. hehe

There was a little lady who apparently had a bad experience with dogs because she veers way to one side when we meet. I do keep Dusty close and short-leashed when we go near people, but she still did that. She apologized, which she certainly didn't need to do. At least she's friendly about it. :-) There is also an elderly gentleman who I've met the last couple times who always has a smile and a hello. That makes it fun.

This time there were people with dogs, too. One had a dachshund and they picked it up and carried it past us. Again, my dog was short-leashed and on the opposite side of my body. Ah well. The other one was a terrier of some sort, very cute. Dusty wanted to play but this time I moved off the sidewalk on to the grass and let them walk past. They were very nice about it, and laughed when I said she wants to play she just forgets she's bigger than the other dogs are.

On both rounds of the lake I let Dusty jump in the water when we could. She loved that. She's really enjoying these walks too!

We had a long day in Sioux Falls yesterday. Well, just the day was long, but it was because we had to go there. Out of the house by 630 as he had an appointment at 9. Those ran until about 11. Then we met with his mother, sister and niece for lunch at Valentino's. Then his sister asked if we wanted to stay for our niece's t-ball game at 630. I said no because we had to get up early this morning (my son and I). I'm really glad since it looks like the worst of the storms were along what would have been the route we'd taken at that time! Not that hearing the weatherman say "If you live in (my town) you need to be in the basement now" was a lot better. Tornadoes freak me out. But we got all the critters down to the basement safely and hung out for awhile.

But all is well that ends well. We're all safe and we're a bit better prepared for next time (of which I hope there is not one! LOL).

~~Heather

Another beautiful day!

It's another beautiful day so far. It's still at 74 which is very ideal for me. Muggy as all get out, though!

I developed blisters Sunday so I bandaged the big one today and walked about a mile and a half around the lake. Not as quiet as normal. A water main had broken overnight and they were working on it. My doggy was so silly...she was torn between cringing away from the equipment and its noise and going "Oh look! A water puddle!" lol The redwinged blackbird was there again too. I did take a break and sit under a shelter with my walking partner. My left shin isn't too happy about this walking! While we were sitting there a pheasant came over from one of the large yards and popped out of the ditch. He was a very handsome boy, I'm sure he had a harem somewhere!

The gophers were a little more rambunctious today and didn't hide as we walked by. Dusty tried to get them, but darn that leash anyway! lol She also tried pulling me in to the lake today! Silly girl. But she is really enjoying the walks which is great. And we have plans to go again on Thursday.

It's so nice to have someone to talk to locally, though. Or just to sit with. Just to remind me that I'm real and I'm human. Tonight I'll be calling Dad to beg for money. Otherwise I lose the internet/phone and electricity and water...not good. I can live without hot water, but not the rest. (Well, technically I can live without the phone/internet but I can make a little bit with the odd jobs on those so I hate to lose them.)

On that note...I better grab some lunch and get ready for my interview at 3. It's for a Pharmacy Technician job. I think I'll enjoy it...but first I have to make a good impression and get hired! It's the ONLY nibble I've had on 9 resumes I've sent out....*sigh*

Country Walk

So today I took my doggy for a 2-mile walk along the country road today. And I was HOT afterwards. *whew* I also wanted to call a friend and didn't want the spousal unit to eavesdrop. It irritates the frack out of me. I don't listen in on HIS conversations. I try very hard to "mute" them. He ACTIVELY listens. Grrrrr.

We got to the edge of town where I normally let Dusty off her lead, and someone else was walking their dog. Without a leash. And it was one of those dogs Dusty just didn't care for. But the guy/kid (late teens early 20s maybe?) was really apologetic though. And soon I was able to let her off to run. We really enjoyed ourselves. Coming back we did start to get really warm (forgot the water bottle!) and so we stopped in the shade often. And once in the sun we stopped because I wanted to listen to the froggies singing. I think I need to get a froggy CD to listen to in the winter time.

And this friend that I called is willing to walk with me when I'm in town! So on days I drop my son off, my spousal unit off, or both off. Yay! And I might even grab shorts to wade in the lake afterwards to cool off a bit. And/or a book to read afterwards in the gazebo. It will be nice to have a local friend. I love my internet friends, I really really do (Vicky, that means you!!). Sometimes, I just need a hug. What can I say? :-) (And I know I will get hugs from Vicky when we meet!)

Yay!

We just won't mention all the other crud going on. :-)

Walking around the lake

So yesterday I had to drop the spousal unit off at work a 7 am. I decided it was a good time to check out Ravine Lake. I took the dog and walked around the lake. It was beautiful! The first thing I saw was:




It's kind of hard to see, but it's a red-winged blackbird that sang to me as I walked past. Dusty and I got almost all the way around and this little guy caught her eye:




I like frogs, I don't know why. :-)

And these caught my eye:




I could take nature pictures all day...lol

The sidewalk around the lake is actually an exercise path and it's marked off at the 1/2 mile and 3/4 mile (I don't remember seeing the 1/4 mile marker but it could be along the section where I park and walk across the parking lot instead). In fact, we enjoyed it so much we did it again today! I think that, for as long as I can, since I have to drop my son off at work on Tuesdays and Thursdays anyway, I may try to make this a habit to get in to.

My contract is not paying and has no idea when he will. Even after promising me he would pay even if it meant coming out of his own pocket! So I am pretty much done. I have a general transcription contract that I'm going to throw myself in to. At least I KNOW they pay on time! It's still a net 30, but the check is in the mail in 30 days. It's not my medical transcription, but I need to pay the bills, end of subject.

My son is still loving his job...and still really testing my ability to say no! LOL But he knows we just can't afford any more critters right now. He did sprain his wrist before going to camp and has a splint on it for a few days. I think starting tomorrow he can go from wearing it all day to wearing it "as needed for pain."

I haven't been keeping track of what I eat, but I have been listening to my body and making sure I have healthier foods on hand. I have gotten a lot better about eating only when I'm hungry. And so far that's equated to losing the 6 pounds I'd gained back earlier this year. Yay!! Adding in a walk 2-3 times a week will definitely help and I definitely want to add strength training again. I just need to ignore the depression that is trying to set in and do it. :-)

Let's see how the week plays out!

Minor rant on job service listings.

Ok, this is rather frustrating. Since spousal unit has been released to work, he has been looking for jobs, of course. My frustration is companies that list openings they don't have.

Of 4 applications, 1 said in their listing "now taking for future openings." The other 3? You fill out the application, usually set up an appointment, drive there, and then they simply take the application and say "We don't have any openings right now but we'll keep your application on file." Then why bother? Why waste your time and ours? Not to mention the cost of driving 20 miles to town. Or simply add to the listing "now taking for future openings." That way the applicant knows in advance and can make the choice to apply for a future opening or not. Because they certainly aren't actually looking for a job or anything. They're just killing time filling out applications and driving around to drop them off.

*sigh*

And then spousal unit gets a call from one of the companies offering a job. But no guaranteed hours and they don't know what the wages will be but can he start tomorrow? AND HE TOOK IT.

For me, my contract is simply not being forthcoming on pay. He told another MT that this check would be for March and April, but only March got deposited. So I'm going to look at other options. I dropped off my resume for an office position at one place and an application for a data entry position at another. I'm going to call a former coworker from the hospital and see if she can get me in touch with a lady she knows who started her own transcription company. My son's wrist is still bothering him so I will set up an appointment for him next week and while we're there see if they have any work to be done, overflow transcription work. I also have a general transcription contract in place I'm just very unsure of my skills at that. But if I don't try I will never know. I may practice this week on a radio show that asks volunteers to transcribe the broadcasts and offer myself up as overflow this upcoming week. I just need to kick it in gear. :-)

I have the paperwork for a pro se divorce. I will also need to spend some time going over that so I can fill it out and we can go over the finer points. I will be glad when that part of my life is over and I can move on.

My son is home from Byron Bible Camp and he had a wonderful week. I'm very glad he enjoyed himself. And back to work for him tomorrow. :-)

~~Heather

It IS June, isn't it??

It's June. And it's 55 degrees out. Brrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!! I refuse to turn the heat back on, so we've been dressing warmly and using blankets. Although I did turn the heater on then van when I took my son to work yesterday and Thursday. Friday we went to town because spousal unit had to get 2 job contacts for the week because he was finally cleared by the doc to go back to work and so he filed for unemployment right away (with no prompting...that has to be a miracle!). We ended up spending all day in town because 1 contact wasn't to be in until after 4 pm. Well, turns out they weren't in anyway. *sigh* Another day wasted.

In fact, this entire week has felt like a waste. Because of the interviews, I didn't work. I didn't want to be in the middle of a report when they called. Although I know I could have worked after they set up the time for the call, I just had no gumption. The client for the company I contract for sends out emails daily. All day. Begging for help. Quite a few of us in the Yahoo group feel that we really can't be bothered to work if they can't bother to pay. For sure we won't work more than when we offered to since, as independent contractors, they cannot dictate to us when we work. If they start doing that then we start falling into employee category. We did give them rough ideas of when we would be able to work, but we are not required to stick to that nor are we required to log in at all if we don't feel like it.

I will get back on track this week. I'm still searching for something else and will probably stop at Department of Labor to apply for a few jobs as well. At the very least I will need to ensure I can make the house payment on time. It will mean some adjusting for my son, in that he may have to walk in to the park or someplace to wait until I get off work. It depends on what I find, I suppose. In the meantime, my son is going to church camp and so it will be very quiet. The 14th-24th spousal unit will be in Sioux Falls for follow up doctor appointments (with no insurance anymore) and so we will have a very nice break from him. He will also look for jobs down there. He kind of mentioned that to his mother and said it was because of a lack of opportunities around here. He has yet to tell them we're separating and divorcing. *sigh* But honesty is such a good policy, right?

I have had issues with my hands again. The skin has dried out again and cracked a bit on the knuckle of my right pinky finger. I am so done with cold. lol I'm sure the cold water has nothing to do with it too, right? lol Hopefully that clears up.

My son is enjoying his job. And he's really testing my ability to say no! LOL One sad thing, though, is that a cat we did give up in 2007 is there again. Last year she showed up here at the house! after a year. She traveled 20+ miles to find us. It was heartwrenching to take her back to the Humane Society, but she was pregnant, had some facial injuries, and we just couldn't keep her. She's the sister to Fuzzy and Wuzzy. We had named her Runty because she was the smallest of the three. And now she's in the shelter again, pregnant again. That means 2 people have adopted her and NOT gotten her fixed. This may be the exception. I may have to bring her home and hope everyone gets along (the other 4 cats picked on her all the time). It breaks my heart to hear she's back, but I can't exactly provide her a good home either. *sigh*

I do have a general transcription contract that pays twice a month, on a net 30. Which means for the 1-15th of June I get a check in the mail July 15th. And I know they are good about it. I've contracted with them before. As much as I love MT work, I may have to branch out a bit.

Sooo....I think I'm going to find a way to make brownies in the microwave lol and work up a schedule for work and stick to it.

Or at least try. Self-motivation is pretty hard to come by these days. *smile*

~~Heather

Relaxing day.

For something different, I had a relaxing day today. It sure felt nice. We watched "The Stand" (all 6 hours of it!) while I worked on a crocheted vest for my sister-in-law. Her birthday is in July and I actually am feeling confident I will get it done in time! It is really turning out nicely and I can't wait to see her reaction to it!

I also found my ankle support this past week. Funny how my ankle started acting up after I stopped using my WATP dvds. It really does say something about how our bodies are meant to move. It also doesn't help, I'm sure, that I am working more and using a foot pedal (to start/stop the dictations) and that movement/position isn't quite natural.

My goal this week is to start my WATP again, even just 1 mile in the mornings, and also do strength training each day. Focus on the little things again.

And so this will be short, since I need to clean my room!! LOL This week will be focusing on 30+ hours of working (I can do 25-28 fairly well, but man is that chair so not right!!), walking daily and then my son has an interview Thursday at the Humane Society. Also get to work on cleaning house. My brother and his family (have to hide that project!) and Dad are coming to spend a night on their way to MN on the 29th. It will be the first time my brother and family have spent more than a couple of hours here since we moved here in 03/2006. I want to make a good impression, even though I know they're using me as a "motel." LOL

I hope everyone has a wonderful week!!

~~Heather

Hello...

I am pretty sure this will be the norm for awhile. I'm struggling to be successful working solely from home. I just wish I liked my home! :-) My spouse is recovering, had his followup today and is STILL not cleared to go back to work!! We go back on the 4th for another followup. He is allowed to do yard work, so he better get off his arse!! He does nothing but play on the computer all day or watch TV. OK, so he also cooks, but that's his daily chore. (Mine is laundry, my son's is dishes and litterboxes.)

We did talk on the 4th and I have told him that as soon as he is working again we will be separating and moving towards divorce. It actually went a lot better than I thought it would. He knew I hadn't been happy for awhile and figured it was coming. Which is a relief. He has agreed that we can do this without lawyers, which is also a relief. So now we're biding our time until he's cleared to go back to work.

I'm staying within 2-3 pounds of my current weight. I definitely need to get back on track with that and with exercise. Not to mention drinking my water. Walking is huge, since I'll be meeting so many of y'all in August!! :-)

The hardest part right now in everything is focusing. I have a hard time sitting at my desk to work because I bought a cheap chair. I'm so used to working the later shift at Premier Bankcard (which I left in July) that it's hard for me to go to sleep early. BUT I get up at 5:15 with my son and taking a nap after he gets on the bus at 6:30 really throws me off. I know what I need to do to change these habits, but knowing and doing aren't coming together very well for me! LOL

Baby steps baby steps baby steps. :-)

I hope all is well with everyone and I will try to get better about posting again!!

~~Heather

Updates and other ramblings....

I've added 2 miles to that...for a grand total of....4! LOL But it's 2 more than I had this morning. My goal is to do 50 miles by my birthday, which is also Mother's Day this year. 27 days left. (When I set that goal, I had 53 days....if it weren't for the last minute, I swear nothing would get done! LOL

It was a nice walk outside, with the dog, son and spousal unit. He is home from the hospital, finally. Although it is bittersweet, since I know eventually we will be parting ways, I am glad he is healing. I will do what I can to help him get back to work and such, and then break the news to him. It will be hard, but hopefully he will understand I cannot live with someone I do not trust. And hopefully we can do it amicably.

We did qualify for Medicaid for April. That will help a lot. March is when the majority of the stuff was done, but we'll worry about that later. We also qualified for food stamps and hopefully assistance with the utilities. I'm not real happy about going back on the system, but that is what it is there for, to use when you need it.

So now it's time to get on with life as usual. Getting up with my son, getting in a 2-mile WATP dvd in the mornings, working, and spending the evenings working on crochet projects or reading or whatever. So far we've been keeping on track with maintaining the kitchen and dining room. Not quite Flylady style, but it is working which is what counts. I still need to clean off the dining room table and the piano, but the floors are picked up and vacuumed every other day (every day if I remember lol). Now to get the spousal unit on board with that as well.

And, it's already 930 which means I better get to bed. Thanks for reading!!

~~Heather

Just a quick update...

I'm working on a dishcloth for my nephews. I'm only working on my 2nd knit project and I am still really slow at it. LOL Hopefully I will have it done by next weekend. It looks like a knit project, though, which is a good start!

I haven't been walking at all this week, which is upsetting. I woke up sick on Monday, and slept in way late Tuesday. Well, I took a nap Tuesday that was longer than I planned on. Wednesday my alarm didn't go off and today, well, today I accidentally upset a dear friend and was hoping to clear it up. I haven't heard from her in a few hours, however. *sigh*

I am applying again for full-time medical transcription work and/or general transcription contracts. Hopefully I do better on the tests this time around! It would be nice to get even a little more than what I am making now. Very hard to get motivated for peanuts. Even salted-in-the-shell peanuts!! LOL

So I'm working, sleeping and eating. And knitting on occasion. Hmmm....not a good recipe for weight loss, but I am not gaining either. I'll take what I can get.

This weekend I will be printing flyers to hand/mail out, and some supportive pictures to hang in my room to remind me of heart health and the Heart Walk in August. I need to get on this fundraising thing. If you want, please check out my page at here:

Heather's Heart Walk Page

~~Heather

Brrr....again!!

I am pretty sure that could have been taken outside my house....it was THAT cold. Again. Just when my poor hands were recovering, they are splitting again.



It's mostly my right hand, and what is sad is that I can be doing nothing with my hands, look down, and it's bleeding. I could literally soak my hands in lotion all day and it does no good. I don't even go outside and my hands still do this. Ah well. It's a pain, but I suppose it could be worse.

I've been kind of lax in the exercise department. So this upcoming week will see me taking more of a charge in this. At the very least I will be doing the boot camp videos daily. My goal is to do a 2-mile WATP dvd each morning. That's 5 days of 30 minutes each day. My other goal is to log log log what I eat. Tomorrow I will be making a heart collage to hang in a few prominent places in my room. Like the first place I look when the alarm goes off. Over the mirror on my dresser. On the wall above where my personal media player sits when I'm working out in there. Just to remind me. :-)

I was so happy to get that contract for the grass-roots advocacy company. Then, on Day 3 on the phone, my voice quit working. I think my mind has finally rebelled. I could pick up the phone and talk to friends. I could pick up the phone to schedule eye exams. I could not pick up the phone to make cold calls to talk to people about this project. So that's it. I was done.

I am transcribing voicemails, which is actually quite fun. I am still doing medical transcription, but am having concerns about getting paid by that company. So I will also be looking for a new contract, one that is full-time and pays a decent wage. (I'm essentially working for free anyway, at their rates.) And I am now a ChaCha Generalist. What that means is when someone sends a text or voice question to ChaCha, I am one of the people who finds the answer and sends it back to their phone. Not a lot of money coming in, but better than NO money coming in!! And the best part? No talking to people on the phone.

I've still got 101 projects going on. Welll....that might be a slight exaggeration. :-) I started a pair of knifty knitter slouchy legwarmers. My jeans are a smidgen short and so when I sit down they creep up my legs. Pretty soon, my ankles and lower legs are freezing in the office, even with the space heater running. So these will help with that a lot. I have 3 b-day gifts "on hook." Two of which will officially be late on the 3rd. I don't think they'll get to Norway on time!! (Sorry!!) Then I have my cabled wrap and a sweater, plus yarn for another sweater for me. Oops...and another one! The one sweater on hook is one I've had "in progress" for a few years, but just never seem to get back to. One of the ones that are waiting to be started is simply called "crimson pullover" and is to wear on National Wear Red Day. Of course, I won't be able to wear it until next year, since I bought the yarn on the 6th, I believe? The other yarn is a boucle for the Floral Fantasy Pullover from Lion Brand. That sweater is not one you wear alone! lol But it is very pretty. The yarn I selected is a variegated brown/black mix that I can wear with a lot of tops. So I should be busy, to say the least!! I also want to knit a washcloth for my nephews before I head to the Hills, but I'm not sure I will get it started, let alone done. :-( We'll see.

My son has started to work out! I'm so proud of him. He is doing the Biggest Loser Weight Loss Yoga dvd 3 times a week. Not to lose weight, but to build muscle. He's doing far better than I could!! That workout is HARD. I bought another WATP dvd set, with the walk belt, making a deal with him that his off days from the yoga he needs to do at least a 1-mile walk. He was fine, until he watched this video! LOL I'll start him off easy with the easy 1-mile walk.

Well, if I want those slouchy legwarmers to get done, I better get on it!!

~~Heather