Sunday, October 26, 2008

What a week....

It is 748pm....he was scheduled off at 4pm....I was browsing through and this pretty much fit what I think he's doing.'s pheasant season. But still. A phone call would be nice. Heck, I'm not so demanding. I would settle for a text message. But this "nothing" shtuff? Is really getting old. To the point where I am seriously considering taking a 2nd job at McDonalds when they reopen so I can for sure afford to move out. I can pay all the bills but rent and groceries right now. Another $400-700 a month would cinch it. Would I have to eat crow? Of course. And that is very hard for me. For 16 years I've been priding myself on how well I've been able to take care of myself. Now I have to admit that I really screwed up and I need help fixing it. Pride goeth before a fall...and it's tottering now....emoticon

Soooo.....that has been heavy on my mind lately. Lately? More like continually. I won't file for anything until after Christmas, as I don't want Christmas to be about that. I want it to be about family. So sometime in January is when this will happen. Do I wish it could have lasted more than 3 years? Yeah....but if it isn't meant to be, then it isn't meant to be. And I look around this house and I just can't live like this anymore. My previous homes were cluttered, yes. But I could walk in and not smell what is probably rotting food, not see trash on the floor, not see clothes everywhere, and and and....

On a positive note...I'm still trying for those positives! LOL They have the computer issues at work ironed out, and to try to make up for that they are offering overtime. I've found I don't mind working 10 hours too much, so I will take advantage of that a little bit. I am off Tuesday, and I won't go in then. Well, unless the shop looks at my van and says it's something more than the alternator or battery. *sigh* If it's not one thing it's another with that thing...but it is what I have and I like it.

I am positive I will exercise at least 30 minutes 2 days this week. I did 1 day of 45 minutes last week. Not a lot, but better than nothing. I also picked up frozen veggies to repackage in 1/2 cup containers to have 1 each day. Again, not a lot, but it's a good place to start. I don't like canned veggies, and raw veggies tend to go bad this is a good compromise.

I am working on a crocheted afghan for my cousins for Christmas. It's a Victorian pattern, which I have always loved, but don't really fit in my house (at the moment!!). So this is a good excuse to make one!! lol We draw couples on Dad's side of the family which makes it nice. Between Dad's side and Mom's side of the families there are 20 kids. YIKES!!! Not including my immediate nephews and niece. But they're separate. emoticon

I am still enjoying my job. I'm not qualifying for an incentive, but I don't bank on that. It would be icing on the cake, ya know? But cake is just as good without it!! emoticon

My hands are already drying and cracking a bit. I picked up some gloves to wear at night in the lotion/spa section, and 3 body creams to try (I like creams better than lotions sometimes). I put those gloves on last night before going to bed, woke up with them gone!! I couldn't find them until I turned over the pillow...I had apparently put them inside the pillowcase so I wouldn't lose them!! emoticon But I did feel a difference this morning already, so that's good. I also put plastic over the inside windows of the living room windows which helped a lot since the plastic on the outside has blown off!! One more thing to worry weekend! hehehe

On that's about bedtime. I'm curious to see what the scale says. Stressful week means it probably went up. emoticon But what goes up must come down...right??


Monday, October 20, 2008

Happy Monday


See that weight? May this be the last week I am at or above that weight. emoticon I am up and dressed for the treadmill or exercise bike. Of course, SU woke up this morning so it may be the exercise bike. Any other time he sleeps until I go back upstairs, especially on his day off. THIS morning...oh no...had to wake up. emoticon (Don't ask me why, but I am not comfortable exercising around him at all. I can go to a gym, I can exercise in front of friends, but not him.) And he's sniffling and horking (not coughing!) and just being gross hoping for sympathy for having a tiny cold. I'm sick for over a week and I get the "I'll let you sleep in on your day off now that you're feeling better" treatment.

Ah well. I best go hit the bike since it looks like he is settling in down here. emoticon Not quite how I wanted to start my day.

Positive: I'm starting it with yogurt and exercise!!! emoticon


Sunday, October 19, 2008

What a week.....

Oh man, what a week. Monday night I was so worried about the van I upset my stomach, so I went home early. It was rather nice enjoying the evening with my son. Tuesday morning I took the van down to the Co-Op and began the period of fretting. emoticon The DISH Network guy showed up and wasn't sure whether he would be able to find a signal or not. Uff-da. But he did, by putting the dish on the garage. So that was nice. I got my phone and internet bundled into a new package they're offering so I (finally!) have unlimited long distance. Then the Co-Op called. Apparently I didn't think that the tail lights would be on separate fuses, plus I was primed to have it be something major. Thankfully it was just the fuse, so that's all good. SU made it home late, shortly after my son and I went to bed around 10:30.

Wednesday and Thursday were pretty uneventful, other than the usual his coming home late. Friday morning, however....we were going to meet with the insurance agent to talk about life insurance on him and retirement plans for both of us. I left a little early because I had a package at my PO Box in town that I needed to get (too big for the box so I had to go during their business hours). As I am walking out the door he *informs* me that the entire kitchen staff may be walking off the job. Apparently the head honchos made a pretty serious (but hard to believe, even for me) accusation against their supervisor and so they decided if she quits (if she does not receive an apology) or they fire her, the entire crew will leave. I looked at him and said, "Great. You turned down the only comparable job in the area and now y'all are going to flood the market??" He claims he can go back to that other restaurant and get hired because 2 of their cooks are in jail for theft, OR he can go back to a different one he previously refused to work at because it was the nastiest kitchen he'd ever seen. (Apparently he doesn't see how he cooks at home, either.) I just said "Whatever" and left. Our appointment was at 10, and he showed up a couple minutes late. I hate it when he does that.

He did cash his check and leave all but his gas money in the van so I could get money orders to be sent off. That is good, I suppose. He then said he would take the air conditioner out upstairs Saturday morning before we went to bed.

Saturday morning I woke up, got ready for work, woke him up at 630 and he asked me to leave the lights on so he would get up. I went to work where we had an interesting day since they wanted us to all log in at once and try to crash the system. It worked fantastically! Because they knew it would be frustrating (as we would then have to try logging in to see if the bugs worked themselves out) they gave everyone a $10 gift card. I took that to the grocery store and got a pizza and ice cream and paid $1.11 out of pocket. emoticon (My son wanted pizza for supper.) That was a nice treat for us.

The first thing I noticed as I went upstairs to change clothes was that the air conditioner was still in the window. emoticon I wasn't really surprised, though. If there is one thing that he is consistent in, it is saying he will do something and not doing it. According to his schedule, he was due to be off work at 8. 1130 we went to bed. I woke up to the back door slamming shut a couple times around 830. I looked over and realized he never came to bed last night. After I heard the car leave, I came downstairs and saw that he opted to sleep on the couch. So now I have no idea when he came home, isn't that nice? emoticon What was interesting was that he was supposed to be to work at 8.

Later on, my son told me that they spent the morning watching movies on TV and then, before SU left, he told my son that he (SU) probably should take a shower, but he would just put deodorant on instead. emoticon Lovely.

So this afternoon we have been doing laundry and watching the shows on DVR we recorded this past week. He decided to DVR 2 football games (neither of which were the Broncos) and so we couldn't watch TV but we could watch our DVRd shows. His schedule was 8-? so we have no idea when he will be home. Granted, it is the opening weekend of pheasant season, but this is a little ridiculous in my opinion.

Positives for the week: The van is fixed, the DISH is set up and I have a game plan for leaving SU. In fact, I even got a lead on obtaining a pro bono lawyer.

Here's to another week!! emoticon


Sunday, October 12, 2008

Wet, rainy day.

Well, it's another wet, rainy day. But that's okay. We kind of vegged today. Yes, the air conditioner is still in the window upstairs. But that one is really sealed well, it could almost stay up. But it won't. emoticon

I caught up on my TV from last week. I know...I need to do that the next morning while on the treadmill. Which means....I need to get my workout clothes laid out the night before. Which I will do as soon as I am done blogging. I have to put my clean clothes away anyway.

My spousal unit is gone until sometime Tuesday. Today was a very quiet day. No fighting, no walking away in frustration, just quiet. Well...until the neighbors on the other side of my neighbors began going in and out of the driveway with their pickup. That got my dog's attention, of course. (Loud pickup.) To top it off, this neighbor (who has threatened to shoot others in his old home 2 blocks away) is also the owner of a chow-chow dog. Who apparently likes our yard. So much so that at least 2 mornings this week my spousal unit has commented that it was there when he took our dog out and tonight my son had to get her back when she chased it off the property. Hopefully this is just them not realizing what is going on and it will end. I imagine I will have to go over and talk to them and ask them to please keep an eye on their dog and keep it out of our yard. I hate talking to people about things like that. *sigh* But, then too, we don't know for sure it's their dog, either. We'll see how it plays out.

We did attack the entertainment center. I needed to clean behind it for the Dish Network guy Tuesday (spilled cat food and such). I also eliminated my stereo (isn't recognizing CDs for some reason) and the VCR. Man does it look empty, now. emoticon I'm anxious to have the DVR service, though. The VCR kept putting squiggly lines on the faces!! emoticon Plus, we have a couple shows that are on at the same time which makes it hard to record. And, the way I had to put things together, I had to have the TV on to record. So those middle of the night shows? Meant the TV was on overnight. emoticon Thankfully, not many of those. And don't tell anyone...but I dusted the entertainment center while I was at it!!

My son was making pancakes for lunch, when he realized we were out of vegetable oil. So we found a recipe that didn't use it (he had already mixed the eggs and milk). No problem. Then we realize there is just enough syrup to tease, not enough to be good. No problem. I can make syrup with white sugar, brown sugar and water. Except we have no brown sugar. I remember, from, that you can make your own with white sugar and molasses. Except...we have maybe 1/4 cup of sugar left?! This is utterly ridiculous!! Between the 2 of us we now make over $45K a year and we can't go into the grocery and buy even the basics anymore??? I am so mad I could spit!! Where does all the money go?

Just another frustration. I really can't blame him, because he has been really good (since July) of turning his paychecks over to me and only holding on to his gas money. Of course, I haven't seen a stub in months, so for all I know he is getting huge gratuities and doing who knows what with it. Food, to him, is not necessarily a priority. He is okay with fatty meats, no vegetables or fruits, and lots of carbs. I prefer lower-fat meats, some carbs, and fruits. I'm still working on liking more veggies. emoticon And I can tell I'm not eating well. I'm tired constantly, lots of headaches, and I just don't "feel right." I can buy for myself and my son, and separate for him, or I can buy what we can afford, which is what he eats.

However...with time, these things will change. I just need to be patient and get in as many nutrients as I can. I suppose that is what vitamins are for?

On a positive note...the house still feels nice and warm. The critters are all healthy. In fact, after I switched cat foods, there have only been 3 incidents of urp-ups. That was 2 weeks ago. Before we would find urp-ups maybe 3 times a day. The geckos are loving the superworms (very creepy things!!) and the hedgehog is still happy running on her own "treadmill." I wish I had that same zeal for mine!! emoticon The dishwasher is functioning, even if I did tweak a screw to get it to work. I am gearing up for NaNoWriMo again this year. ( Tuesday I will have better TV service and unlimited long distance.

Crud. Tuesday I have to hope the guys at the CoOp can figure out why my tail light isn't working, and hope they can do it for $40 as that is all I have left. But if it isn't working be Wednesday, my 10-day grace period is up and I'm sure I'll get a ticket since I drive home at night. (Replaced the bulb...still not working.)

Ah well. We'll see what happens. emoticon


Saturday, October 11, 2008


What happened? I blinked and it got cold!! Yuck!! I had asked my spousal unit if he and my son could take out the air conditioner so I could turn on the heat (exotic pets don't do well when it's 55 inside!!) and he said we all 3 needed to do it. So I said we would do it this morning. Well, after giving me the bad news that changing the light bulb didn't fix the tail light that is out, he left for work. But that's okay, because I knew my son and I could do it on our own, and so we did. Took it out of the window, put it on his little red wagon and pulled it into the garage. Then we put plastic on the outside of all the windows on the lower level. My son was nice enough to climb the ladder for me!! emoticon I'm just a wee bit paranoid of this one, since I weigh more than the weight limit, AND Dad always called it "The Widowmaker" since it is a light aluminum one. emoticon Tomorrow we'll take the air conditioner out of the loft window and put plastic on the inside of all the upstairs windows. I am also planning on putting plastic on the inside of the lower levels, just for a little extra help. The electric bill is going to skyrocket again, of course. Baseboard heat on the lower level is the only source of heat we have. Nothing upstairs. Hopefully next year I will be able to buy infrared heaters, 1 for each level.

These past 2 weeks have been unusual in the household. My spousal unit has been uncharacteristically nice, and trying to be lovey-dovey again. I'm not buying it. I don't hate him, mind you. Hugs are okay, kisses are not. I want to give him credit for replacing the tail light on the van this morning. I'm also frustrated because I don't like it when he tries to fix things. He's not a mechanic/carpenter/handyman at all. But he tries to be, and that can cause bigger problems. emoticon He's been good about not overtalking me when disciplining my son (we had a couple rough nights with him this week) and making sure his side of the bed is made, and such. It's scary. It's nerve-wracking. It makes me wonder what he's up to away from home. emoticon

Yesterday we switched the car insurance to State Farm. They had a lower rate than Progressive for higher coverage and a lower deductible. We also carpooled since we were working close to the same schedule. The gal at the insurance office (who is wonderful!) mentioned life insurance and 401(k)s. We'll go back next week to see what they've pulled together. My spouse has nothing through work anymore. The only benefit he has is discount on motel rooms. That's it. So we'll look at life insurance on him that will build money over time towards retirement and getting him started on a 401(k).

I was thinking forward and realized that even though I will be eligible for a 401(k) through work, there is no reason I can't start one now, and make it the type that is a little higher risk. Buy stocks now while they're cheap. I heard somewhere that it took about 30 years to recover from the Great Depression and it will possibly take that long now. Well, I will be right at retirement age at that point. It will be perfect for me. So I will take the extra savings from the homeowners insurance (we will get a discount on that by adding the car insurance with them) and use that to build up my nest egg.

Don't panic. I know. I'm thinking ahead. I'm planning for my future. I'm emoticon being a responsible adult. Don't worry. Only for a few moments. Then I went to work and returned to normal. emoticon

I do have some positives going on, which is nice. I am still enjoying my job. That is unusual for me, trust me! But this place has such good camaraderie and I feel like I fit in, if that makes sense. I had forgotten how much of a difference that makes. It looks like I'm on track for a decent incentive check next month, if I'm figuring things right. Hopefully my supervisor will get together with me this week to go over things. (She did that last night with one of the gals from my training class, so I think she's getting to Cassandra and me this week.) That is the Christmas shopping money. In December, it will all go to debts (mostly to Dad!!). In January, 1/2 to debts, 1/4 to 401(k) and 1/4 to high interest savings, and so on.

In December, I'm going to Sanford Health for a heart checkup. Normally $875, I will be getting a lipid panel, blood pressure check, EKG and heart CT scan for $50. It's a wonderful option, and with the heart issues that run in the family, it's a good idea. emoticon I'm making it a "me" day and hoping a friend can come up from IA to make it a "girl's day out."

On that son is 16 and has never seen "Jaws" so we're going to watch it today!!