Thursday, August 20, 2009

Things I refuse to apologize for...

A thread was started at Ravelry...and here is my contribution....

I refuse to apologize for divorcing you. And yes, to the person whose name I can't remember, it is possible to marry someone and not know them. I had no clue he was a gambling addict and that he has a huge propensity for lying. I knew he was a recovering alcoholic. I did not know that for the entire 3 years we lived here (we moved here 7 months after we got married) he was drinking and smoking pot. I had suspicions, but I can't tell the difference by scent between alcoholic beer and non-alcoholic beer, sorry.

I refuse to apologize or feel the slightest bit guilty that you still cannot find a job after almost 2 months. You had one here. You didn't have to move out of the house immediately, you had the 60-day waiting period to do so. You chose to let your sister run your life and move you in with her, her family and your mother.

I refuse to apologize for having Metallica, P!nk, Alabama, Rascall Flatts, Bon Jovi and Miranda Lambert on my Shuffle. Guess what? This is my feel good music and it makes me feel good to listen to it! I also refuse to apologize for dancing to the above-mentioned music while housecleaning....because guess what? I feel good! I refuse to apologize for being a cocky-ass bitch. It's who I was in high school, it's who I am when I am not under the thumb of someone. Granted, right now I'm the most insecure cocky-ass bitch I know, but dammit, I am back and I am happy. It took me 15 years to get to this point and you can like it or lump it.

I refuse to apologize for again being a single mom. I did fine for 13 years. I got married and my life went to Hades in a handbasket. I'm separated-soon-to-be-divorced and will do just fine again.

I refuse to apologize for never again changing my last name and probably never getting married again. I will live in sin if that's how you want to look at it, but I will never allow myself to be legally bound to someone again.

I refuse to endorse college as the way to go. I have an AAS and a certificate. I'm still paying on the AAS after having graduated 13 years ago. And I'm not using it. If you want to go to college fine. If you don't, that's fine too. If you know what you want to do and it makes you happy, then do it.

I refuse to apologize for having 3 cats and 1 dog. I know I'm financially strapped. But the side effects of these guys far outweigh the side effects of the antidepressants I wouldn't take anyway. My financial situation is temporary.

I refuse to apologize for having fun. My son is old enough to spend a night or 2 at home alone if I want to go camping with friends. I have a cell phone, he can reach me in an emergency. We have good neighbors that will help out. He will be fine.

And family, I refuse to apologize for not having friends that are up to your par. They like to drink, they like to smoke the wacky tobaccy, they like to have fun. I don't drink, I don't smoke even cigarettes, let alone anything else, and they make me happy. I have fun with them. You make me feel uncomfortable and inferior.....and I'm not.

2 comments:

Tanya said...

GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!!!! I knew there was a reason I loved you! You remind me of ME!!!

Becka said...

Good for you. I loved you the first time you were a cocky-ass bitch. Glad you are back.