Realizations

I found this picture under the google search "realization." I've had some "realizations" lately that I really want to reinforce in myself. The picture is probably irrelevant, but I like it!

1. I've been sleeping longer lately without feeling rested. I've also been having troubles falling asleep again.
2. I've gained back 3 pounds.
3. I'm more easily irritated again.
4. I'm feeling overwhelmed again.
5. The couch has become infinitely appealing again.

In January, after 3 days of daily exercise (the SparkPeople boot camp and either treadmill or Walk Away The Pounds dvds) I was having no problems falling asleep. I woke up feeling rested. After 2 weeks, I had lost 5 pounds. I was more patient and tolerant. I felt like I could do whatever I set my mind to. And I hated sitting on the couch except to crochet.

At the end of 2 weeks, I hit a funk. I don't remember what it was that set it off. Well, I might. See, I was looking forward to a 4-day weekend over Martin Luther King Day, because it was a floating holiday and then Tuesday was my day off. What they didn't bother to tell us was that we had to have the day off pre-approved. I was not the only one who was unaware of this. In fact, at the beginning of January, I had discussed working that day and using the floating holiday for that Saturday so I could go to Sioux Falls for Christmas with the in-laws. (That request was denied as there were no vacation spots available.) I then assumed I did not work on Martin Luther King Day. Silly, I know.

So I got a call that day asking what happened, and somewhat being "taken to task" for not showing up. I was upset and frustrated and let it get to me. The conversation was a bit confusing, but it got straightened out. But I was still offended. And I ended up quitting my job. The thing is, I didn't need to, except that I was burning out big time. But I had no savings to fall back on and bills coming up. And they were so nice about it all. That was the main problem with quitting. I was burning out on the job, but I LOVED my coworkers and the company was great.

So, as I search for another job and try to get this MT thing to come through and do other little odd jobs here and there...I've given in to a depressive funk. And last night, as I was trying to fall asleep...it hit me. I FEEL BETTER when I am exercising daily. I sleep better. I feel rested after sleeping. I fall asleep faster. I feel like I can do anything. I am more tolerant about things in the house. (Namely, people and actions/non-actions.) I also make healthier choices. I drink less soda and more water.

What does this mean? When they say "exercise is good for you" they really mean it! And so I need to get back on track with exercising every morning. I do have the mental issue of not being able to do so in front of my husband. Long story, boring story, so we'll just leave it at that. It's just a mental thing with me. But I do have a bedroom large enough to do these workouts in. So today, after my son is done with his room, I will go work on that one. I will use my laptop as a DVD player and I will be good to go. Boot Camp videos and WATP videos. And push myself. None of this lax stuff that does not cause sweating. I will sweat. I will push myself.

I will dress to work every day. No more sitting in my jammies until 10am or so. Of course, doing the exercise 1st thing and then showering will help with that. I will log my foods daily and ensure I am getting enough nutrients and water. I will resume taking a daily multivitamin. I will log in to my MT accounts and work what is available. While I am waiting for reports to come in, I will do voicemail transcripts as they come in. As I am waiting on those, I will review my coursework and prepare to take more pre-employment tests.

But I will also still leave time to crochet or read or whatever. I have so many crochet projects lined up it's unreal. I will leave downtime. And if it means going to the guest room to get away from the drama in the household, so be it.

If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy! Time for mama to do things that make her happy and healthy!!

~~Heather