Kids....I am at the end of my rope....

I'm not even sure where to start....my son got in trouble AGAIN yesterday. He is now suspended until Monday for truancy. But that is the least of his problems. He stole caps for a cap gun while he was skipping. His friend stole knives and the cap guns in the first store, apparently. I am at the end of my rope...so frustrated. And then I found that picture...and it explains EXACTLY how I feel!!

Thankfully, I was able to make up my time from yesterday today, but it is getting very old. I did not raise him this way...to lie...to steal...to skip...The other student? was laying it all on my son, and my son did not see how this was not a good friend? We had a good (I hope!) discussion last night, away from SU. One thing I've learned is that SU, while trying to be helpful, speaks at the wrong time and says the wrong thing. He would be better off saying nothing at all.

I called the bank today...and left a message inquiring about mortgage assistance through work. We'll see if she calls back before I leave to go back to work today. If not, I will try again tomorrow. I know that the worst thing she will say is "No." And then she will follow it up with "This is what you need to do so I can say yes." Dad is supportive of our leaving SU, just isn't sure how he might be able to help. At least he's supportive...I was afraid that I would be doing this on my own.

Otherwise, not a lot in our home. I did orientation (basically the filling out of paperwork) for McDonalds. I was having some issues reconciling with that, too, until I remembered that I have an aunt who still works at her local McDonalds...so I'm good again. It's amazing how much of a snob I have become in some respects. My coworkers at my full-time job thought it was pretty neat, too. That's a nice feeling.

Since my son is suspended from school this week, I don't need to be up at 530. I will definitely be taking advantage of that!! He has extra chores to do, and that is what we will leave it as until he is charged, etc. etc. *sigh* Hopefully he has learned...or will learn and retain...his lesson this time....

Positives for the day: My coworkers were happy to see me unexpectedly today!!

~~Heather

Happy Thursday

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Hehehe....I am shivering today...so that was a perfect picture.

I got the job at McDonalds. I have orientation this Saturday, and then I will go to the local gym and get a month-to-month membership for myself. My son didn't seem interested in joining again, and I am sure not going to pay for SU. I just downloaded a fun album called "Skinny Songs" and iTunes again caused problems. I don't get it. the first three songs errored, but the last 7 downloaded fine. The first thing support will do is tell me to change my settings. Why would I do that, when it's obvious that most of my music downloads fine? My son just downloaded 15 songs with no problems last week. I really wanted to listen to this on my drive to work.......

So, as soon as the newly-built McDs is built, I am presumably working M, W, Th and Su from 7am-10am. Then, on the weekdays, I will go to the gym, workout, shower, and then go to work at Premier Bankcard. I am sure on Tuesdays and Saturdays I will be busy doing housework because Heaven forbid those two do anything. Yesterday I gave up and loaded the dishwasher and ran it because they apparently can't after supper. Got home last night and the dishes weren't put away, the dishwasher is still in the middle of the kitchen (portable dishwasher) and dirty dishes are piling up again. Last night was trash night....I still see trash on the floor in the dining rom...the bathroom trash was not taken out...the living room trash was not taken out...why do I bother cleaning up anymore??

I swear, every time I try to make things better in my life...they just seem to get worse. Let's hope this 3rd time will be the charm (eventually leaving SU). It has to be, doesn't it?

I do have a lot of things to be grateful for, though. A friend's daughter was in a major car accident last week and has only a few torn muscles to show for it. Thank God she had plenty of Guardian Angels with her!! I have wonderful friends who have been providing me shoulders for crying on and sound advice (even when it isn't what I want to hear!! lol). They have been such an inspiration...I am very blessed to have them.

I have a roof over my head, 2 good jobs, food in my stomach, and clothes on my back. The necessities are taken care of. (And, thanks to the kindness of a stranger on the apple support forums, I got those last 3 songs done!! yay!! A want is taken care of!)

For the rest of the week I am going to focus on the positives again...as I unload and reload the dishwasher when I get home tonight (because I can almost guarantee they won't have done it!!). I have a feeling that will start a fight, because I know SU will jump up to do it and I will tell him not to bother. If he was really going to do it, he would have done it before I got home so I wouldn't have had to stay up late again. I shouldn't have to get mad before they do their share around the house.

This just seems to be more of the same...which is why I don't post as much. Repetition is boring!! LOL

~~Heather

Good morning...it's a good morning, really it is...

Never mind that my son has just came back in for the 3rd time to get something he forgot (and the bus is due any minute now). Never mind that I took an extra day off yesterday because of said son. Never mind that my SU (spousal unit) claims to be horking up snot because he has a cold (because it doesn't explain the same sounds and gross things when he doesn't have a cold!). It's a good morning.

I talked to my Dad while in the Hills, and he will do what he can to help me out. I have an interview at McDonalds for a 2nd job tomorrow morning. I am hoping that between the 2 jobs I can qualify for a mortgage through work. If not, I will have to see what Dad can do to help me out. It is nice to have his support and understanding of why I am leaving SU. That is a big relief in and of itself. The hard part will be making it through the holidays, pretending to be happy, until I am at a point where I can move out.

My son decided to cut class yesterday and leave campus (after I had revoked that privilege a month ago). I caught him with a friend as I was driving to work (I happen to work pretty much across the street from the school). I pulled him for the day, came home, and he pretty much sat at the dining room table for 3-1/2 hours working on homework. I have since hidden his new skateboarding shoes, cell phone, and brand new mp4 player he just got from me for his birthday this past weekend. Now I need to figure out how to disable the satellite TV so he can't watch TV either. My TV doesn't have a timer option and that is one thing I miss from my cable box. I could lock it so that it couldn't be used at all. I will end up taking an occurrence at work, since I can only make up 1/2 the hours missed.

We had a great visit in the Hills. My nephews are so adorable. The almost-3-year-old can clearly say the name of our president....Ohh-BA-ma! he says! The younger one, who just turned 1, is laughing and walking and gets into EVERYTHING. I brought an afghan to work on while visiting, and he really wanted that totebag!! We had a great time, though. It's sad that I won't get back to the Hills now until February, although we will all be going to MN for Christmas. Yes, SU included. I don't want to ruin the holidays or make an upcoming separation/divorce the center of attention.

Exercise and eating healthier still are not working so well. If anyone has suggestions for overcoming sheer exhaustion in the mornings to work out, I would love to hear them. I don't get to bed until almost 11, and am up at 530. Makes for long days...although if I do get this 2nd job, until I move into town I plan on getting a membership at the local gym so I can exercise there and use the shower. I refuse to go to work at my full-time job smelling like fast food. If only my SU would have the same courtesy for us. Just because it's a "restaurant" and not fast food doesn't mean he doesn't reek when he gets home.

Well, since I am going in early, that means I need to get ready early. Have a great day and thanks for reading!!

~~Heather

Just a few more days....

Oh what a weekend...My spousal unit gave my son permission to go trick or treating Friday night....without consulting me first!! I had no idea where he was, who he was with or anything. I had a text message from my son asking permission, and my last break I called (last break is at 515) and no one was at home. So I called his cell phone and he was already with his friend. SU had told him to be home at 8, but didn't ask any other questions. I was livid. I told my son to enjoy, however, and that I would see him whenever he got home. Silly me...took away that 8pm curfew, but I wasn't thinking clearly. I confused my son in doing so, and didn't realize that until Saturday night when we had a chance to sit and talk.  So....at 930, no SU is home, no child is home...I'm so mad I'm crying on my friend's phone...*sigh* It just made me so mad that SU didn't even bother to get details!! My poor friend lives 1600 miles away and was so sweet...even got me to laugh a bit. SU came home not long after that (scheduled off at 8, but does it surprise me anymore?) and sat down like nothing was wrong. Of course, to him, nothing was wrong. He asked where my son was...I said I had no idea. I didn't know where he was, who he was with or when he was coming back. I was trying very hard not to blow up at this point.  To give my son credit, he was home at 1015. He had also remembered to lock up the house & take his key with, as well as his cell phone. And he told me on the phone who the friend was, and we made arrangements to get him home. He understands that he needs to plan ahead to make things go smoother. He also did some extra chores to make up for the ones he didn't do during the week. I'm not so mad at him, I'm furious with SU.  He put my son's life in danger. I don't care if this is a town of only 11,000. He had no idea where my son was, who he was with, anything. And thought nothing of it. Never mind that a teenager went on a rampage and killed his parents with a broadsword 2 years ago. Never mind that when I was working at the hospital the police scanner was on and I listened to many teens getting picked up for drunk driving. Never mind the fact that he has no legal authorization whatsoever to do that.  That was the straw that broke the camel's back. This next weekend I'll be in the Hills. I have a friend who was a paralegal and her & I will be working up a separation agreement. I will be asking Dad for help which will be really, really hard for me to do. Especially since I still owe him for the van transmission. But repaying him is in the budget I've worked up. I'm going to take a 2nd job somewhere...don't know where yet. McDonalds is hiring, just not quite sure I can do it. BUT I will if I have to. Perhaps WalMart is still willing to hire me? We'll see.  I have a good emotional support system in place...it's the financial side of it that scares me. Plus not being able to visit the Hills as often, if at all. That will be hardest of all. But I can use a webcam to talk to them, that will help a little. It won't be the same, of course.  I am focusing on positives at work. We had a great Halloween Party/staff meeting. Our team was "Black Eyed Ps"....kind of a fun play on words. (That's me up above.) They had pumpkin cake and cookies and hot apple cider as well. I am not getting an incentive for the month of October, but that is okay. I can't change it, so no point in getting upset. I also found out that our team is the worst team in the center. BUT if we all bring up our stats (and I admit, mine could use some improvement as well) then one of the center managers is treating us to a sub party. That will be fun. And I do adore my cubicle-mate. We have a good time together. I got the time off I needed to go to the Hills this weekend, and I got the time off over Christmas that I had planned on taking before I took this job. I was nervous about that, but they managed to work it out. That will be fun.  So....I just need to get through these next 4 days and then I am off to the Hills...yay!! We're going to surprise my oldest nephew by being there when he wakes up from his nap Friday afternoon. That will be such fun!!  Next week will not be so fun. At some point, I will have to sit and talk to SU about a separation (but staying in the home together at first) and ultimately a divorce. *sigh* It will be tense, to say the least. But ultimately, it is for the best. I just hope he can understand that...  ~~Heather