Wednesday, January 31, 2007

The trouble with fat

Shush...I know it's been 10 days since my last post. No excuses. I was sick for part of that, and the rest of that is becoming a short story for your entertainment.

Actually, it's to get it out of my system and hopefully get myself motivated again. :-)

Here it was, Thursday afternoon, and she's sitting in the doctor's office. If there's anything she dislikes more, she's hard-pressed to think of it right now. The annual poking, prodding and questions. Especially the questions, since it's a new doctor. At least she's nice, and not judgemental, like the last one was.

"Well, your sinuses are definitely swollen, so we'll put you on some antibiotics to help with that a little bit. Otherwise, it's just a cold, it will have to run its course. Not what you wanted to hear, right?" Dr. Lorves chuckles.

And with that, she went home to sleep. Again. It seemed like that was all she had been doing. She called in to work Tuesday for the first time, and would have to again for Friday night, since she can't get the antibiotics until Friday and needs to be on them for 24 hours before she can work.

Over the weekend, as the antibiotics took effect, she started to feel better. She worked Saturday and Sunday night, and then by Monday afternoon when she woke up, she felt a lot better. So she took the dog for a walk, after bundling up for the weather.

Tuesday morning she walked to the bus stop and back, and then added 2 blocks to make it an even mile. And then slept again for another couple of hours. Unusual, but perhaps still playing catch up from working nights.

Wednesday morning. Another walk. And then back to sleep for 4 hours this time. What on earth is going on?!

Thursday morning, another walk, another sleep for 4 hours. 12 hours of sleep?? What is going on??

She posts at her forum, and gets plenty of feedback: overdoing it after being ill, overdoing it period for just starting an exercise program again, need more vitamins, need less vitamins, drink more water, sleep at night etc etc. Some of which makes sense. Overdoing it after being ill and just plain overdoing it for a beginner, especially.

But, in her heart of hearts, she knows what it is. It's her body fat. She's been hearing it for the last few days. Complaints of not enough food, and too much exercise. Her fat is rebelling. And it's doing it the best way possible: fatiguing her. Making her sleep the day away so she doesn't exercise. So she wakes up craving high calorie food.

Sure enough, that's about all she's been eating. Of course, with the lack of funds, it is more difficult to eat healthy, and they're living off what they have in the house. But come payday, what happens?? She has her son pick up pizza burgers with a side of mozzarella sticks. Her fat cells laugh as they sense the imminent return of her bad habits.

The next night she walks to the restuarant with her son. A good start!! Surely she'll be able to order something reasonably healthy. Alas, the fat cells win again: all-meat pizza and she splits a side of mozzarella sticks and a side of cheeseballs with her son.

Working the weekend. Breakfast at Burger King. Breakfast from McDonalds and supper from McDonalds. Lunch from the cafeteria both days. Creamy pasta, rich desserts. Oh sure, she got the fruit cup and chocolate milk, but does that outweight the others? Oh no. And again, the fat begins to celebrate.

Monday, she's slept in again. She didn't walk her son to the bus stop. The fat cells rejoice. Tuesday, it's too cold by far, and she drives him to the bus stop. She wakes up a few hours later to find she missed part of the show she wanted to see, and then she gets mad.

"These fat cells have been sabatoging me!! I KNOW the effects they can have on my hormones and emotions, and dadgummit I WILL NOT LET THEM WIN!!" At that, the fat cells ears' perk up. Surely she doesn't mean it?

She walks to the computer and modifies her exercise goal. She cuts it in half, knowing that's for more attainable for her right now. She pulls up the healthy recipes her family loves, and makes a grocery list for the upcoming weekend. The fat cells begin to cringe. And then, she makes the final blows: she journals about what's been going on and what she plans to do about it. She re-connects with her accountability partner and puts it in writing there, too.

She goes to work feeling better. Yes, it's another night shift, so she has plenty of time to get her game plan squared away. She will sleep most of Wednesday, which is to be expected. But she knows that when she wakes up, her treadmill will be waiting. And she will begin a new relationship with it. She will take it slow and easy, so she doesn't push the new feelings away with feelings of guilt and failure from not meeting that unattainable goal. She will write down how she feels at the end of the workouts.

Most of all, she will NOT give up the war against the fat cells. She WILL prevail!!

The fat cells are laughing, thinking that it won't happen again. The fat cells have been down this road before, and have always won before.

Stay tuned.....

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